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To Jim Belushi, Get the Hell Out! Julie Newmar

I know I’ve been doing a lot of non-baseball posts and these little entries that, when combined, make one big entry for the day, but that’s what happens in the early offseason. Once the trades start going down and Carlos Beltran signs for eleventy billion dollars, I’ll have more actual "articles" that run down my reaction to those events. But until then…

If there’s one thing I love more than the Royals, baseball, John Mayer music, and Catherine Bell, it’s f---ed up news stories that aren’t from The Onion. Check out this beauty from Yahoo!’s Oddly Enough section:

Actor Jim Belushi says his next-door neighbor, actress Julie Newmar, is spying on him, destroying his property and calling him names behind his back.

[ . . .]

Belushi says that Newmar, 71, destroyed a fence and landscaping on his property, spied on the actor and his family and directed loud music into his backyard.
By the way, Julie Newmar’s agent (What the hell is she doing that requires an agent?) essentially denied the allegations. Anyway, I had to read that last sentence of the article three times to fully grasp what it was saying. If you have to read it five times, I understand, because that has to be about the strangest scenario ever. Let me see if I can sum that up: According to Jim Belushi, 71-year-old former Catwoman actress Julie Newmar somehow defaced his property and made a lot of noise while spying on his family. That’s so incredibly bizarre I’d rather not believe either side, but since somebody HAS to be lying here, one of two things happened:

1) Jim Belushi is a hallucinating, lying, doodie-head.
2) Julie Newmar, at age 71, is having keggers at her home and blasting God-knows-what into Belushi’s backyard.

I’d like to be a humanitarian and hope that Belushi hasn’t gone insane, but that might be the lesser of two evils. I seriously hope this woman (or mannequin, if you prefer) isn’t "direct[ing] loud music" into anyone’s backyard for any reason. That’s just creepy. The article continues:

The suit, filed last week in Los Angeles County Superior Court and made public on Monday, describes Newmar's behavior as "an effort to force Belushi to move from his home."
Yes, that's right. Like a spirit who's pissed off that you've destroyed her old kitchen with ugly wallpaper, Jim Belushi believes that Catwoman is trying to force him to take his residence elsewhere. Sounds like there's only one thing left to do, and that's asking these guys for help:


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